"Once more unto the breach, dear friends...."
I judge people who give their children normal names with crazy spellings (think Soosahnna or Aleesheyah). Names do actually matter when applying to schools or finding a job, and you're burdening your kid because you think it's "fun" to be unique.
And I judge people who switch LO from RF to FF as soon as they turn 1 and then say that it's the law so it must be OK. RF is safer. Period. Yes, it's your kid, and you can make stupid decisions if you want, but don't think that it's a good idea just because it's not illegal. It's not illegal to feed your 1yo soda and cheetos either, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea.
Re: Judgement Thursday
This is such good advice. I had a job 3 of 4 years undergrad, and did so much better in my studies when I was working (and playing a varsity sport). Having lots to do forced me to prioritize and stop procrastinating. Andplusalso, the debt load students are graduating with these days is truly scary. I know grads who have loan payments that are more than their rent (in Boston, so rent isn't cheap!), and they literally can't make ends meet on a good entry-level job because their loan payments are so high. Especially given the job market, I'd tell a relative to do anything they can to lessen their student loan debt.
Amen!
Having a job and working while going to college IMO is SOOO beneficial. I learned so much and prepared me for a lot of what you have to deal with in the working world outside of the actual work.... Sure I needed to work to pay for living expenses and tuition, but I can honestly say that even if we manage to pay for our children's college tuition/books...They will still be expected to work for spending and most living expenses because it is such a good learning experience.
Amazingly I am feeling judgement free this week.
Ha! All of this. My SIL bought DD a triangle top and frilly bottom suit. It looks great with the rash guard over it.
My judgment is lame but it's my toddler's birthday party on Saturday and surprisingly MOST people actually RSVPd! Except, my nanny's worthless daughter. She sucks at life and annoys me to no end. I judge her because she can't get her *** together to RSVP for a freaking birthday party for this Saturday.
Also she constantly leaves her kids at my house with my nanny (her mother) to do things when she knows I pay her mom and it's hard on her mother to have 4 small kids in the house. She shows her mom no kind of consideration. I also admit it's partially my fault for having this relationship be so "friendly" and not business-like.
http://balletandbabies.blogspot.com
I judge people who homeschool their kids. There I said it. Both of my sisters-in-law homeschool their kids. Yes, they have degrees but neither are/were teachers and I think their kids are going to be worse off for it.
One kid is showing major signs of autism but his mother ignores it. The others, by the other SIL, are total rotten brats and she spends most of their "school day" going to petting zoos and teacher her daughter to sew. She thinks "life skills are more important than academics" (this is a verbatim quote).
I judge parents who think their precious little darlings shouldn't have to work while in college, especially if their kid is only taking the minimum full-time 12 credit load. They should easily be able to handle 12 credits and work a part-time, 20 hour a week job. Stop paying their rent, their cell phone bill, their cable bill, their spring break vacation, their books, their food and entertainment and let them do something for themselves for once.
Oh, and since rear-facing was brought up, I judge people who judge people who turn their kids forward facing and feel the need to lecture about how rear facing is safer. Yes, I get it, it's safer. But, driving in a car with a screaming, crying and vomiting one and half year old doesn't make for safe driving either so everything is a trade off.
Also on the subject of car seats, I judge mothers who repost pictures of their friends kids in car seats on Facebook for the sole purpose of pointing out how the straps are incorrectly fastened or how the strap fell off the kids shoulder or how the kid isn't rear facing, etc. and then say something like "my friend just posted this pic of their sleeping daughter, she's darling but look at that strap, gosh, I hope they made it home okay." What is the point? To prove that you're a better mom because you have never ever messed up your car seat but cloak it in concern for their safety? I'm guessing they are posting these in such a fashion that the friend never sees it.
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
I judge parents with heavy kids who continue to feed them Doritos and soda while at park, zoo, beach
I don't judge people who homeschool; I understand why some people want to do it. However, I judge people who homeschool with absolutely no consideration about what will happen when their darling grows up and gets out into the real world. Interacting with other people is important. Respecting the rules of society is important.
Example: at a pool party, kids were in line to jump off the diving board. John Homeschooled* ran around to the other side of the diving board, ignored the kids in line, and jumped off. His sister, Suzie Homeschooled, told the other kids, "Oh, you need to let John go. He hasn't learned to wait in line yet." Mama Homeschooled saw this, heard Suzie's remark, and chimed in, "That's right, Suzie, John hasn't learned about lines yet, so he gets to go." John was 6, with no developmental disabilities or other behavioral issues (except, apparently, an utter lack of boundaries and manners). The other parents and kids exchanged crazy WTF looks.
*This actually happened. Names changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
Just to play advocate - 2 piece swimsuits are soooo much easier for diapers and potty training. So would tankinis be ok? or the rash guard top with separate bottom? And what about indoor pools - are bikinis ok there?
(FWIW DD wears a one-piece rashguard suit and I think bikinis are weird just because I don't understand how they stay in place for active kids with nothing to hold the top there yet.)
OMG. Who does that? I guess those mom's think they have too many friends and aren't worried about loosing some?
You'd better believe my immediate response would have been, "Well then I guess it's time he learned" Yeah your brat doesn't get a pass to behave badly because you are too lazy to teach him better. If you won't do it, then his peers (other kids) have the right to tell what the rules that EVERYONE have to follow are.
Line cutters are one of my HUGE pet peeves and it seems like there are just more and more people who think that the rules don't apply to them and most people are afraid (or maybe too nice, not me) to call them out on it.
ETA: My mom ran a daycare when I was growing up so I've been keeping younger kids in line since age 5.
lol
Me too! Unless it is exceptional circumstances I think Homeschooling is the worst idea ever!
I judge myself today, mom guilt for sure. I've been working long hours, its been like 100 degrees out this week and I overbooked our weekend, so I've been crabby. I lost it last night when my 3yo wacked my 6yo in the head with a toy and gave him a huge bump while I was walking into the bathroom with their 7mth old brother for a bath. Oh and DH was out getting his every two week haircut - while I haven't had mine cut in almost 6 months! So, he walks in to a naked baby in the PNP while I have an ice pack on DS1's head and DS2 is crying uncontrollable saying I sowwy mama and DH has the nerve to say "I can't even leave for 20 minutes to get a haircut"?
I lost it, in front of the kids for the first time - big time. So I judge myself, I am usually laid back, take everything in, hold feelings back and the one to calm everyone down. UGH, by the end of it all we were all in tears and I know it happens but I feel really guilty it went down like that in front of the kids. This morning they were their happy selves but my 3yo said he was sorry again and told our sitter that mama & dada were yelling at each other. He was in the wrong for hitting DS1, but I don't want him to think he is to blame for my blowup and DH & I arguing.
Mobile bumping: but was going to say I used to have strong opinions on little girls in bikinis until I had 3 little girls under 6 2 of which inevitably would need to use the bathroom at least 34 times per pool visit, 1 being in a seim diaper and never needing to go/be changed at the same time. I actually prefer bikinis now. 4th girl coming any day :
DD does not wear a bikini, but she does wear a two piece. I guess it could be called a tankini. Getting wet bathing suits on and off to change diapers is the opposite of fun.
I used to judge homeschoolers, but now I am more open minded. My cousin home schooled her seven kids. The oldest just joined the navy and the second oldest just graduated magna *** laude at age 20 and was accepted to med school. And she played on her college soccer team. These seven kids may be the best behaved children I have ever met. And they are all involved in lots of activities so they have socialization. They're really smart and fun to talk to.
I know this will be unpopular. I hate when children are dressed to match for family pictures. I'd rather see their outfits complement each other, not just be exact copies.
this. I can't imagine wtf some people are thinking when they name their kids!
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
Just curious, but at what age do you plan to let your kids play outside unsupervised? (Presumably, you'll let your kids play outside on their own before they move out.....) Do you distinguish between a private, fenced back yard and a public front yard?
I don't know when I will feel comfortable with this, my son is 2.5 years old right now so obviously not for a while. This particular situation was the neighbor kids playing outside in the street without supervision. I mean a 5 year old and an 8 year riding their bikes in the street alone? No way. The backyard that is fenced is a different story.
zachary happens! | little fish
We're one of those families that gave our kid a 'normal' name with an unusual, but I definitely wouldn't call it crazy spelling.. Aislin is pronounced kind of like "ASH-lin" - but at the end of the day, we gave her the proper spelling - the name is Gaelic, therefore it has a Gaelic spelling.
We're aware that we'll have people who don't know how to pronounce it or think we should just spelled it "Ashlyn" or something along those lines, and we're okay with it, but don't consider it a burden. (DH considers it a burden that his name is Chris, and he never once had a class without at least one Chris, K-12, he also had another "Chris S." in his class)
My thoughts exactly! You see it all the time on the news!
I usually see people with them at my local Wal-Mart. But some of the people at my local Wal-Mart could fit into any one of those three categories. One time the bank inside the Wal-Mart was robbed and no one even flinched...not even when a dozen or more police rushed in with guns drawn. People just kept on shopping and the checkers kept on checking people out like it was NBD.
I do know a guy with neck tattoos that are visible unless he is wearing a turtle neck...but he is also a mechanic where it isn't as big of a deal. But, in general, I would think that the career opportunities for people with face tattoos would be severely limited.
I myself have a tattoo that can only be seen when I wear a swimsuit and I've used make-up to cover it up before...and it takes a lot of heavy make-up. I can't fathom doing that everyday...especially if you are a dude.
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
My brother has Aspergers, which is an autism spectrum disorder. My mom decided to homeschool him after several of years of inadequate services from both catholic and public schools. He was very high functioning so every time he was doing well in his special Ed class they would mainstream him and he would struggle and act out. My mom used an accredited homeschool curriculum.
However she was exposed to a lot of radical homeschoolers, and I do judge them. But she was also exposed to homeschoolers who have good reasons, ex people who live in rural areas and young children with very long commutes to school. I think it's unfair to judge homeschooling in general.
I'm fine with pulling your kid out for the sex ed section but placing greater emphasis on sewing skills instead of math and language like my SIL...no.
I guess I will reserve judgement...Because My brother and I were defintiely all over our neighborhood at 8 & 5...yes we had stay together, and had to stay inside our neighborhood and be home before dark, but really we were not directly supervised. Neighbors knew who we were and who we belonged to. And if we were misbehaving or being unsafe they were going to correct us. It certainly didn't matter that we were not their kids. I mean we started walking 5-6bolcks to school by oursleves when we started kindergarten.
I totally understand that not all people live in areas where this works, and I totally undrsatnd that all kids are differnent and when kids are mature enough to handle being unspervised will be different...but by 3rd grade (8yrs old.) I would genuinely hope that I have taught my DD well enough that she can ride her bike/and run around our neighborhood and go visit her little firends without me having to supervise.
Yes! Or names like Linnzee, only it's pronounced like "Katie". Kidding, obviously, but I've seen some pretty ridiculous ones. I feel like you are doing your child a disservice in the long run. BTW, I am not referring to cultural/family names that no one has necessarily heard of, I mean like the examples above that are just random to be fun and different.
Exactly. I see absolutely nothing wrong w/working while attending college. Besides, why wouldn't you want to get a feel for the workforce, before having to sink or swim?
20+ years ago, yes.
I don't see my child going out to ride bike at 4pm and telling them to be back before dinner. I just wouldn't be comfortable being inside the house and my child riding bike around the neighborhood without regular check ins. I'd prefer to be outside either riding with them or having them bike the block and then come back in front of the house then repeat.
IMO it varies based on the kid, but generally speaking I don't see a huge problem with an 8yr old playing outside alone on a residential street, especially a court where there's even less traffic. We used to ride our bikes to the neighborhood park at that age.
Was the rock thing an accident or purposeful? Because honestly, especially if it were an accident, I could see that sort of thing happening even if the parents were there. Sucks they have to pay for a new window either way but that's life sometimes.
Of course, I can't wait for my kid to be old enough to play outside unsupervised. The chances of child abduction/abuse from stranger is so incredibly rare it's not even on my radar. I worry more about my kid getting hit by a car blowing through a stop sign than stranger danger.
I had the same question, actually.....
And kids today wear bike helmets. I never did when I was a kid in the 80s. I definitely believe that my kids will be safer riding their bikes in our neighborhood than I ever was. And I really, really don't see anything wrong with an 8 year old going out for a bike ride by themselves. When I was that age, lots of kids that age rode their bikes to school.
out of curiosity what do you think has really changed in the last 20+ years? any cursory google search will show you that in fact child abductions by strangers are less frequent now....if I lived in a less safe area...busy roads, lots of traffic, no sidewalks. Than I would be more leery about letting my kid roam for fear of them getting hit by a car.